Chapter 57: He's Crazy

Paz finally has her glorious garden.

In the background: Zephram's invention deck, and a giant fence he put up because he didn't feel safe with a big open field to the left of him while inventing.

Dalma spends her pregnancy playing video games, eating and sleeping.

She tries her best to clear her mind by doing these mindless things. But as her unborn child grows, so does the number of unanswered messages on her phone. She cannot hide here forever.

It's not long before Dalma catches herself in the mirror, practicing speeches for her return to politics.

Since Paz prefers his hair long, Chad shoots himself in the face with a science beam, then shaves away the resulting massive beard. He is left with fabulous long hair.

"Okay... I'm a little weirded out Chad," Paz admits.

So how about WORK? That's all these two ever talk about.

"I think our boss is putting something in the coffee."

"We need to out-fox him," Chad suggests.

"Definitely. That or I'm leaving one of the carnivorous plants in his office, to see what color ghost he becomes."

"What?"

"Sorry. My Mom's research talking."

"So I thought your brother bombed your house because of the painting behind us."

Paz shrugs. "Yep. Now it keeps him out of my room."

"Brilliant."

"Don't you mean dangerous? Considering he could decide I'm possessed and try to kill me?"

"Yes that's what I mean."

"Well, Zephram would never do that. He gets confused but not that confused."

"Right."

Planting cheese? Chad is skeptical.

Dalma greets Chad shyly, knowing he's the son of her older half brother, Kory. Dalma has no relationship with Kory, seeing as their mother left her first family in the dust to pursue Dalma's father, a more politically-connected and fashionable man.

"My father had serious abandonment issues," Chad explains, "but considering your situation, I think he got the better end of the deal."

"M...my situation?"

"Yes. Paz tells me you were always compelled to rebel needlessly, and even now are here, too emotionally troubled to do anything constructive, because of a fight with your mother."

Dalma narrows her eyes. "Is that so."

"I hope you feel better soon."

Dalma slinks away. Chad hangs out at the Archer place late enough to catch Melody.

"I'm sorry, young man, but where am I? This isn't my house. I believe I'm lost."

Comfy.

Baby wants out!

Zephram and Dalma have a son, named Holly. Zephram keeps this nervous smile on for seven hours straight.

Zephram then decides to cook Dalma's favorite meal, so it's time to go to the grocery store to buy the ingredients. Or... was it to the book store, to buy the recipe? Why didn't he just look that up online? HOW DID HE END UP HERE? AAAAHHH!

Alison Newbie, wondering why there's a pirate freaking out in front of the bookstore. Oh, wait, it's the crazy brother of that bitch, Paz, who stole Alison's high school boyfriend. Time to walk away.

The book store clerk cautiously goes outside.

"Is there a problem, son?"

"You can't buy me, book store man!" Zephram cries. And then he runs away.

"Hmm... no, there's really no difference between Minty Fresh and Peppermint Explosion."

Experimental kisses for science.

"Maybe we should say we're going steady," Paz suggests, "so people stop questioning us, trying to court us... et cetra."

"A logical idea," Chad agrees.

When he gets home, Zephram notices Dalma sifting through the laundry hamper, packing up her own dirty clothes.

"My mother's old and could die soon, Z." She sniffs. "I can't leave her like this. She's seen you detonating things in the back yard and she thinks you're going to kill me, and she thinks I've thrown away my career, and..."

Zephram rolls his eyes. Dalma's been listening to the manipulative flood of messages on her phone; something she swore she would not do.

"I think I have to go back, Zephram. And political life is a place you can't follow me to."

Zephram fidgets. "I would never hurt you! Anyone!"

"I do love you, Z. But you still... need help."

Break up in front of the baby. Classy.

"But. Holly."

"This just isn't the right time. I think we should give him up for adoption."

Zephram shakes his head. "If you don't want him... I'll take responsibility."

Leave her child with the guy her mother keeps saying is dangerously insane? Dalma is inclined to do so, though she cannot reconcile this with logic. It helps that her mother won't give a damn either way, of course; all Sara Rinsler-Tenderlove will care about is that the baby is disowned. "Please forgive me, Z..."

Dalma walks out of the nursery, only to be confronted by Paz, who had been observing Dalma's discomfort before her brother got home, and just overheard the whole thing.

"I'm not going to be lectured by you!" Dalma shouts. "Your brother sets explosives off in the yard and you don't do anything! He tried to destroy your last house and you didn't get him any help!"

"You moved in after all of that," Paz hisses.

"I was pregnant!"

"Zephram cares deeply about people. He would never hurt anyone!"

"Maybe not intentionally! You're foolish. My mother is right, there's something wrong with your family."

Paz sees no dishonor in physically attacking a woman who gave birth earlier in the day.

Dalma takes her leave, as confused and conflicted as she's always been.

Is she as bad as her own mother, who left Cody and Kory? She doesn't think so. Kory was already a child when Sara left. Dalma tries to tell herself she's not that bad...

"Zephram? Zephram, look at me. You don't have to raise Holly alone. I'm here."

Just playing house with one doll, today.

Chad stays overnight again, keeping a close eye on the cheese plants in Paz's new garden.

"You've been preoccupied," he says.

"I'd never take you for granted like that," Paz mumbles. "What Dalma did is the worst thing I've ever heard."

"Our relationship isn't like theirs..."

"That's true."
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Etc.: Paz actually got the cheese & egg plant opportunity as a young adult. Normally this only happens when my gardeners are elders, so I was VERY pleased. It goes well with the mad scientist vibe Paz is trying to cultivate.

I felt bad breaking up Dalma and Zephram. But that's what I rolled. I made it up to Dalma by letting her skill charisma a bit; maybe story progression will promote her more quickly. Zephram had a lot of girls to choose from; initially I was going for Aubrey Newbie, the girl he "stalked" when he was a kid. But while waiting for her to age to teen, Zephram and Dalma became much better friends.

Paz did not have the same luck with eligible boys.

Holly has the same IQ as 6,000 PE teachers.