Chapter 77: More and More Archers

They always want to make small talk, Rex realizes.

Just because he married into this crazy family, they think he's one of them.

"One of you blonds needs to make a move," Ashby comments, pretending to look at a watch she isn't even wearing.

Fischer finds himself with more time on his hands since he quit his job at the mausoleum. Instead of punishing him seriously, Rex merely ordered the teenager to do something constructive.

Fischer began working on his first novel, a horrific children's tale called The Potty that Cried.

Luke and Kipp spend more time at Uncle Rio's. Maranda is heavily pregnant with Rio's third child.

Rio puts on a free show for the kids. He's a lead guitarist now or something.

In Sim Nation, it is polite to freak out when a woman goes into labor.

Luke goes with Felicia and her parents to the hospital, while Kipp stays behind with Javier. Javier starts going on about chemtrails to calm himself down, and is still chattering on when his parents return with his new baby brother, Spencer.

"Javier!" Kipp snaps. "Shut up already! You realize you're stupid right?"

Kipp likes playing with dollies, playing house. But she doesn't think motherhood will be the same at all. Maybe, she thinks, she should just never have children. She wonders if Spencer will be neurotic like his brother and male cousins.

Speaking of more and more Archers, Arron (Hawk's second child) recently married and Lorenzo already reproduced with Kerrie Ivanov (ew). This is their teenage daughter, Gail.

Kimberly's sons Donovan and Kerry have shown no signs of settling down.

Hawk's wife, Alice, feared darts in life because they were pointy. Now nothing holds her back.

Rex goes to the park to think wait for unsuspecting sims to interrogate about suspicious activity around town.

Luke's official adult birthday rolls around.

Like Fischer, he worries too much about how to make his family proud.

 He worries more about the gnomes, which move to attack him even while he showers.

Luke has GOT to get out of here!

When Luke announces he's leaving because of gnomes and intends to live alone in a tiny, scenic cottage to write science fiction, Rex gets pissed off and leaves the room. Moving gnomes is a conspiracy right up there with Fish Kid, and it's one Rex has never found any evidence for.

There was this photo Zephram took of a gnome vanishing in a cloud of orange dust and sparkles, but Rex thinks it's faked since Zephram was certified insane.

Ashby, on the other hand, hears her son out about it and gives him her best wishes.

"I'm really going to miss you," Ashby sighs. "And your father will get over it. You know how he is."

Nol is off in her own little world, less and less responsive to her family as she grows ill and feeble.

"I'll visit," Luke reassures his mother.

Though given his fear of the gnomes, Ashby isn't so sure he will.

"I'll look for your books," she says.

Luke checks the fireplace one last time before leaving.

Paz materializes briefly, but it's only to check out a new video game.

Feeling more of a connection with the dead than the living, Nol tries to strike up a conversation, but it's no use. Perhaps Nol exists in an in-between state; not part of the living world, but not part of the graveyard yet either.

 A mage summons a lightning storm at the hospital.

Just kidding, it's the X-Ray disaster scenario again.

As governor, Iago feels it is his duty to show up and pretend to care.

For her success, Ashby is made Grand Commander of the fire station and given her own fire truck.

Which she promptly paints up with flames.

The irony mobile takes its place in the garage with Sacha's old Tofunda Wagon and Paz's blue Toyota.

Rex has his own car, a sleek Yomoshoto Evasion, but it's so sneaky you can't even see it.

Kipp's been promoted too. Up from clothes folder. But she's not very happy with her meaningless job, and can't wait to be older and get a real career.

Disaster at the school building.

"Pst!" Pauline whines. "Fischer! You're not doing it right!"

Kipp and Fischer stand quietly while their classmates panic.

Why freak out? Ashby's on the job.

Kipp and Janet hit The Grind after school.

"Is that your grandpa?" Kipp whispers.

Janet glances behind them. "Yeah... he can be overprotective. Not that you're, like, threatening or a vampire slayer or anything. I don't know."

Fischer visits Luke.

"This place is small, but it's surrounded by forest and it has everything I need to get by. I like how quiet it is."

Janet stays overnight. She especially likes the panda topiary.

Nol dies.

Rex and Ashby make sure Nol is buried properly before they go to sleep.

Janet wakes up and mourns her favorite author.

Comforting hugs.

On the same night, Fischer becomes a man.

In the hallway, he finds a music box playing. He picks it up gently, studies the ninja figurine inside for a moment, then closes it.
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Etc: Luke got to level 3 at the book store about two hours before he aged up. Fischer achieved level 3 earlier than expected, and I think Kipp will have enough time as well. So now we're on generation 9. Fischer is supposed to have biological and adopted children, three altogether. And they're supposed to be multi-cultural. I don't want to use ghosts or vampires, so that means travel. Or seducing a tourist, I guess, but those all have vanilla faces and I'd rather use some genetics that EA has made specifically for ethnicity, rather than trust my own face-alteration skills.

"Chemtrails" is a conspiracy theory involving airplane contrails. Some contrails stay in the sky longer than others, due to atmospheric conditions and other things easily explained with science. But some people think that those contrails that stay in the sky longer are actually mind control chemicals being spewed out from scary government planes. On the stupidity level, the chemtrail people rank close to that lady who saw a rainbow in her sprinkler (water + sunlight = duh), and made a YouTube video blaming pollution. I was waiting for her to blame gay people because that would have been hilarious, but she just rambled on embarrassingly about how she had no idea what terrifying contaminants could be causing that rainbow.

If I had heard about "chemtrails" when I was Javier's age, though, I wouldn't have been able to sleep at night, for all that disturbing imagery. At that age I still had persistent thoughts of dinosaurs attacking me. Along with that mechanical dog thing from Fahrenheit 451.

Fischer's book, The Potty that Cried, was an EA-generated title. Epic.