Chapter 11: Beware Sharp Objects

The painting helps him remember things, Randy explains.

Leona brushes her teeth three times before going back to bed. All that kissing was kind of gross.

She liked it, but still gross!

One sleeps with Z's, one sleeps with V's. Can this possibly work out?

By the time Cleveland is awakened by more of Randi's shenanigans, Leona is long gone to work.

Cleveland likes the miner about as much as Randi likes seeing his underwear.

Leona's regulation hair reminds her of Fiona. Ever ambitious, she can't wait to be promoted again.

Randy enjoys the lack of a house directly in front of his. There are just trees over there. It's nice.

Role reversal.

"What the hell is that on the table?"

It's Fiona's old homework!

Leona is afraid to tell Cleveland she's pregnant. She delays inviting him over, and spends her time lounging around the house, despising the maternity leave that has put such a halt on her steady advancement.

Fortunately, pregnancy is quick.

In an attempt to impress Cleveland's family, Leona asks the doctor in the delivery room for a Russian name. "Sacha," he suggests.

Cleveland forgives Leona for her dumb spelling mistake; the doctor was a French guy. He seems happy to be a new parent.

"No we're not moving to your place!"

Disappointed Cleveland is disappointed.

     

"Seems we're not moving to my place. Maybe I can help you with the gardening sometime." He even offers to paint the baby's room with butterflies.

 "You should know about my daughter's eating habits... they're very strange..."
 

And then, few days pass without sight of Cleveland. The clumsy vampire fell down one of the holes in the yard, you see, and landed directly on something sharp.

The stench of a rotting corpse led the Archer family to discover... the rotting corpse.

Leona reacts about as one would expect.

Meanwhile...

Randi builds a time machine. She disables the "past" setting and tells her family it's all just a glimpse into an alternate universe. Not the future. Don't be silly...

While she is a fantastic inventor, Randi is a failure in her personal life. Trying to console her daughter has mixed results, considering the circumstances of Cleveland's death.

Since the body was removed by the proper authorities, Randi can now fill in the hole in the yard.

The paparazzi are loving this.

Randy worries about what the tiberium in the corner may do to Sacha.

Maybe... just maybe... she can fix...


.................No, bad idea.

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Etc.: I could have written a break-up story where both parties were at fault. I could have made Sacha's conception a random fling. But I felt like killing a simulated vampire, so I used MasterController to destroy Cleveland with a meteor. A meteor didn't fall from the sky to kill him (luckily for the Archers' house), but he simply vanished and Leona began to mourn. His gravestone has the meteor on it.

Since there is no gravestone for "falling down a mining hole," I had to make do. Meteor works for me.

I did feel kind of guilty about it for a while.

PS one of his traits really was "clumsy".